Hey, all, I just wanted to give a shoutout to an amazing episode on Singled Out all about trusting your gut. I felt tremendously validated and soothed by the words shared by Ariella Azaraf, LCSW. Some takeaways:
- We become conditioned to believe that other people know the truth. To listen to your gut, you have to really trust yourself.
- We develop core beliefs about ourselves that make it harder to trust ourselves, narratives like, “I’m not smart,” “I’m not worthy,” “Other people know better than me.”
- We reconnect with our truth in stillness. Like challah is most active when the dough is left alone.
- There’s room to talk things out with others and gain from their wisdom but what will propel you forward is connecting to your own feelings.
- When setting a boundary you can say, “I really appreciate your time and so appreciate that you care about me. I’ve given this a lot of thought and I am going to make xyz decision.”
- Reinforce your boundary to yourself. Say, “This is hard for me to acknowledge and I wish it was different but this does not feel right for me.”
- Many people struggle with feeling guilt about saying no. Guilt and shame will never serve you.
- Someone pressuring you to articulate your reasons for saying no when you just aren’t feeling it is kind of being a bully.
- Don’t personalize why people are sending you suggestions that aren’t for you (“Is that the impression I’m giving people?”). Personalization is a voice of anxiety. The less you personalize, the more lightly you move in the world. It doesn’t have to carry so much weight.
- Take each suggestion one at a time and examine it individually. You don’t have to just try everything.
Go listen and enjoy!
