This week we’re going to hear the megillah. I always enjoy following the drama of the Purim story. The climax, of course, is when Mordechai tells Queen Esther to go speak to the king about Haman’s evil plot. As we know, Queen Esther is hesitant, telling Mordechai that anyone who goes to the king uninvited is put to death. Instead of reiterating his request, Mordechai tells Esther that if she does not go, Hashem will surely send the yeshua through another avenue, while any remembrance of her will be lost to history — and that just maybe, this is the moment for which she became queen.
In other words: “We don’t really need you to go. But you need you to go.”
The Chidushei HaRim translates the words, “Vayigash eilav Yehuda” (usually explained, “And Yehuda drew near to [Yosef]”) as, “And Yehuda drew near to himself.” Yehuda had lost touch with his identity as the leader of his brothers when Yosef was sold to the caravan of merchants, and he continued to sink deeper and deeper into a malaise until he reached rock bottom with the story of Tamar. The turning point came for him when he said the words “tzadka mimeni” and took responsibility for his actions. Yehuda continued to climb back up towards his true identity of melech until the climactic moment in Yosef’s chamber, “Vayigash eilav Yehuda”; Yehuda stepped forward and fully occupied his role as king.
Malchus means acknowledging and owning your position in life, even when you’d rather abdicate. It means stepping out of safety into vulnerability, because only then can you do what you came for.
Maybe this is why you are trapped in the palace, whatever your palace may be. There must be something you can do here, for yourself and for the klal. Personal avodah is a contribution to the overall growth of the Jewish People. Every one of us carries an irreplaceable piece in the puzzle of our history. What you do for you, you do for all of us — and that means you can tap into the zechus of the klal when you embark on your own journey of growth. But if you’re in this place, you’re here for a reason.
One thought on Purim tefillah…All of history is the present reality to Hashem (if we can grasp such a concept). Every Purim, it is as if we were just saved in the nick of time from the decree to destroy us, this year. I heard a very powerful mashal: A child is trailing behind his father on the way home from shul and keeps asking him, “Can you buy me a bike?” His father keeps trying to deflect the question… “Maybe…we’ll talk to Mommy…ask me after Shabbos.” Suddenly a car pulls out of a driveway and hits the boy as he is still pestering his father. The ambulance comes racing, and the boy is rushed to the hospital. The moments tick by, but all hope seems lost. The father feels sick with pain and guilt. Suddenly the boy’s eyes flutter open and he looks up at his father. “Daddy, can I have a bike?” His father starts to cry in relief. “OF COURSE you can have a bike. You can have whatever you want!! I thought I lost you!” This is how Hashem sees us every Purim. “I thought you were gone. I thought it was over. Ask Me for whatever you want.”
A freilichen Purim! May all your tefillos be answered l’tova! Have a wonderful Y”T!
(Image: throne room in the Royal Palace of Madrid. I was there.)
