A few nights ago I was thinking about the concept of bashert and of “missing your bashert.” I was left with more questions than answers.
What does it mean to have a bashert or to miss your bashert? Does it mean you can turn down the one person you would have been happiest with? The person who would have helped you grow the most? Is there only one person who can fill these roles? Are there different people at different ages? Or even a few people at different ages? What about the concept of the “right time”?
Does Hashem give everyone one chance only to find the perfect match? What about people who marry more than once? What about people who change?
What I think I’m trying to say is that I don’t think we have to try and find our bashert. I think bashert is a concept that can mean many things and because it’s so mysterious, is not something we need to worry ourselves about so much. I believe in hashgacha and destiny but I don’t believe we have to take that on our shoulders. I think we should try to be happy and to believe in love and in yeshuos and to try our best to grow and be good people. And then when we meet someone we really like and want to marry and they feel the same way about us, that’s bashert.
