A few days after my younger sister got engaged, my friend’s younger sister also got engaged. Similar situation, same age difference. And I had this moment when I went, Oh! I get to pay it forward already!
Because over the weeks around the engagement, I had experienced just how amazing it feels to receive empathy from others who can put themselves in your place and just be with you. When people said or did anything to show that I was in their heart, it gave me fuel.
The friend in E”Y who ordered a box of biscotti to my door the day of the l’chaim. The friend who texted me, “Let me know when you want a night on the town.” The friend who drove over an hour to be at the l’chaim. The friends who texted virtual hugs, hearts, an invitation to talk if I wanted it.
It felt so good that I kept thinking, “These people don’t even know what they’re doing for me, and I’m going to pay it forward one day.”
Which led me to think up the Empathy Gemach (as yet a figment of my imagination, but maybe it could be a thing). It’s like an advice line without the advice, or even a helpline without the help. It’s a number to call when you need some validation and it isn’t coming from the people around you. It’s a way to connect to someone who will listen without judgment and tell you what maybe no one else will:
No, it really doesn’t matter that other people have it worse.
Yes, you are allowed to have a process.
I have been there.
You are not bad.
You are not crazy.
You are not alone.
Calling the Empathy Gemach is free and confidential, but there is one stipulation: if you can, at any point in the future, please volunteer for a shift on the line and pay it forward.
