In February I read a fun and different book, Love Will Find You, by Kathryn Alice. The book went through a number of steps and exercises for helping you surmount old obstacles and negativity about dating, become open to accepting love, and attract the right person into your life. I don’t need to tell you that I see this kind of …
Some of the most basic yet most helpful advice I got in shidduchim was to not count dates. I was in middle of a parsha and pressuring myself to come to a decision. A friend came over on Shabbos and told me to tell myself I had until Succos to make a decision (this was in June). At the time I …
One of the most fervent hopes and prayers of many people in shidduchim is to have clarity. I often daven for clarity and have been wished clarity and have been told that the most important thing to have is clarity 😉 . Lately I’ve been considering what clarity could mean, aside from what I think is the most basic …
Hey, all. I thought it would be interesting to talk about who “takes charge” of your shidduchim. Do shadchanim contact you directly? Do you reach out to shadchanim on your own or does someone do it on your behalf? Who does shidduch research? How have things changed over the years? And are you happy with your current setup or are …
Initially, I was going to write this up like a Top 5 but…I will leave that to the pros. Up there with answering “what are you looking for?” is the subtle aggravation of trying to extract shidduch information from a hopeful suggester. (Disclaimer: THANK YOU to everyone who tries to make shidduchim, especially mine 😉 . You are appreciated.) …
Someone sent me a clip of Rav Elimelech Biderman shlit”a speaking about this week’s parsha, Parshas Shlach. I found it so powerful and just what I needed to hear. After the meraglim (spies) came back from spying Cana’an, they described the sights they had seen and told how impossible it would be to conquer the land. Calev answered, “Aloh …
How I dread that question. It’s not like I haven’t had to answer it a million times already, but I still cringe and stumble when I have to produce an answer. Anyone out there have a really good elevator pitch that’s specific and true-to-you and easy to give over with minimal room for misinterpretation? No? (Sometimes I feel like saying, …
One of my married friends/moral supporters recently shared something she learned from Dina Friedman, the popular teacher. People say that shidduchim is about compromise. While every shidduch entails acceptance of the full package, which will always include at least some “imperfection,” Dina Friedman teaches a method for feeling that you are not compromising at all. Basically, for every imperfection …
Things are slowly getting back to normal where I live. Retail is starting to open, outdoor minyanim are fully operational, families are hosting their relatives for Shabbos. Social distancing and lockdowns are reversing themselves, and it looks like Zoom dating may no longer be entirely necessary in the near future. This would seem to be good news. I am …
Recently a friend asked if I knew what a mutual acquaintance is looking for in a shidduch, as she had a guy in mind. I answered that I didn’t know but that it was nice of her to try and work on an idea. She shared that she didn’t want to ask the girl herself so that she wouldn’t “get …
