This past Shabbos, I was away with some friends and we were cracking up because anytime someone complimented someone else on a piece of jewelry, she would automatically add, “Did you buy that for yourself?” Looks like we’ve all gotten used to getting ourselves gifts. (It’s a good thing!) For Chanukah, I’m thinking about a cookbook — like The …
At a shalosh seudos this past Shabbos, someone (who knows I have Many Opinions on Things) exclaimed, “You have to read the Open Mic article from this week’s Mishpacha!” Immediately, some others at the table began protesting that I’d only find it upsetting. So I insisted on reading it, of course. To summarize, the author writes that just as …
I transcribed a recent conversation between me and a married friend (minimal poetic license taken) because it really helped me think about things in a new way, and maybe others will find it helpful, too: Me: So…what are you tips on not becoming cynical and jaded? Which is what I’m becoming. Her: About what? Me: About shidduchim. Nothing means …
This post was inspired by Chavi, who commented on a previous post. She raised a question — thank you very much for being honest and asking it — that resonated with me and I’m sure many people: How do you know that you’re doing your part in helping yourself get married? How do you know whether you’ve turned down people …
I’m learning to mute the cacophony of accusatory voices, the ones that insist that anyone in shidduchim for a length of time must be making poor decisions, or is picky or unreasonable or impossible to please. I’m learning to stop taking responsibility when things don’t work out, or when I have to say no, or when I end up in …
I get a bit startled when the calendar hits Tu B’Av and I’m not married. I guess it’s one of those markers of time. I decided a few years ago that when I get married, I will commemorate Tu B’Av each year as a special day (why not 🙂 ). There is a source for this that I read in …
I just joined an easy learning program that I have been gaining a lot from. Each week, I get a recording of a short class on Chovos HaLevavos Shaar HaBitachon, given by Mrs. M’nucha Bialik, a dating coach in Ramat Beit Shemesh (and a very dear mentor). The classes are about 15-20 minutes long. Mrs. Bialik started this program after …
I write in my journal almost every day. Sometimes I write a few paragraphs and sometimes I write more than five pages. I write about anything that comes to mind — stuff going on in my life, creative ideas, to-do lists…Sometimes I reread what I write and sometimes I don’t. I try to keep to it regularly even when I’m …
For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been engrossed in the audio version of The Body Keeps the Score, a book about trauma by Bessel van der Kolk. It’s a 16-hour listen and the subject matter is pretty intense (but fascinating!), so I’ve only listened for about an hour or two a day. I’m almost done, so feel free to …
A few weeks ago, a family friend called and said, “I was working on a shidduch for you and the mother said she spoke to your references and they told her you’re not interested in someone who X.” Now, this was inaccurate and I told this person as much (and I highly doubt my references, who know me well, worded …
