Boundaries are a perpetually hot topic. In this post, I’d love to share what I’ve learned about the topic over the past few years, if I may. A boundary is a flexible, invisible line around you that marks off what you are responsible for (that’s inside your boundary) and what you are not responsible for (that’s outside your boundary). …
Hello, everyone. I hope you’re all doing well and drinking lots of water, especially before the fast. Last week I wrote about boundaries and people-pleasing, and I plan to post some more expanding on that topic later this week or next. So check back for that. This week I wrote a paper for one of my classes and …
Public service announcement: Your “yes” only means something if you have the choice to say “no.” I read an article a few weeks ago in which the author seemed to misunderstand the term “people-pleasing.” She gave the impression that a people-pleaser is someone who is unusually kind and selfless. Now, they may be that, too. But actually, a people-pleaser …
In February I read a fun and different book, Love Will Find You, by Kathryn Alice. The book went through a number of steps and exercises for helping you surmount old obstacles and negativity about dating, become open to accepting love, and attract the right person into your life. I don’t need to tell you that I see this kind of …
Ever since I read the Rebbetzin Machlis book, I wanted to get more involved in making Shabbos. It was more of a wish/dream instead of an actual goal because I kept running into this resistance in my head that told me that making Shabbos before I was married would just be “pretend.” One of the positive developments for me …
Some of the most basic yet most helpful advice I got in shidduchim was to not count dates. I was in middle of a parsha and pressuring myself to come to a decision. A friend came over on Shabbos and told me to tell myself I had until Succos to make a decision (this was in June). At the time I …
Hey, all. I thought it would be interesting to talk about who “takes charge” of your shidduchim. Do shadchanim contact you directly? Do you reach out to shadchanim on your own or does someone do it on your behalf? Who does shidduch research? How have things changed over the years? And are you happy with your current setup or are …
Initially, I was going to write this up like a Top 5 but…I will leave that to the pros. Up there with answering “what are you looking for?” is the subtle aggravation of trying to extract shidduch information from a hopeful suggester. (Disclaimer: THANK YOU to everyone who tries to make shidduchim, especially mine 😉 . You are appreciated.) …
How I dread that question. It’s not like I haven’t had to answer it a million times already, but I still cringe and stumble when I have to produce an answer. Anyone out there have a really good elevator pitch that’s specific and true-to-you and easy to give over with minimal room for misinterpretation? No? (Sometimes I feel like saying, …
One of my married friends/moral supporters recently shared something she learned from Dina Friedman, the popular teacher. People say that shidduchim is about compromise. While every shidduch entails acceptance of the full package, which will always include at least some “imperfection,” Dina Friedman teaches a method for feeling that you are not compromising at all. Basically, for every imperfection …
