This post has been in the works forever. I’ve written about other hard stuff — rejection, loneliness, and ambiguous loss — but not enough about heartbreak. I have to admit that before I experienced heartbreak, it seemed mysterious and romantic to me: imagine having had a relationship that was “real” enough to matter when it ended.
I told my uncle about a dilemma I have regarding guys who are interested in going out with me but who are not what I am looking for. I continue to struggle to find the balance between thoroughness and diligence, which feel productive and self-determined, and guilt and anxiety, which disempower me and make me feel compelled to do things …
What might it be like to get to know someone through writing letters instead of dating? Couldn’t that be a nice change, and revealing in refreshing ways? I think I could be more real and true to myself given the time to formulate what I want to say and the safety of the page to say it.(And wouldn’t this make …
My sister pointed out that timing can mean the difference between success or failure. If you want to buy a house, but you can’t afford it, then even if you find a great house in a great neighborhood at an objectively good price, it’s not good for you. It will be a headache and a strain and you will risk …
This past Shabbos I had a really fun time with a friend…playing Perfect Matches! Now, I’ve mentioned on this blog that I don’t enjoy question-answer dating games and in the past, I didn’t. But revisiting the game now, I see that I actually find it really fun to answer the questions! I think it’s because I’ve evolved and gotten to …
Hey, all, let’s continue talking about dating through the lens of mindfulness. Last time we looked at pre-first date anxiety and ways to help yourself through that. Now let’s look at the first date itself. First dates are really nerve-wracking. Second and third dates etc, also. But first dates are uniquely nerve-wracking because there’s that Big Reveal. The …
Two weeks ago I wrote about the ambiguous loss of singlehood, a concept I just learned about in my research for a school paper. The concept resonated strongly with me and based on the feedback I’ve received, with you, too. If you have the time or inclination, I’d highly recommend reading the full text of the journal article (citation …
Some of the most basic yet most helpful advice I got in shidduchim was to not count dates. I was in middle of a parsha and pressuring myself to come to a decision. A friend came over on Shabbos and told me to tell myself I had until Succos to make a decision (this was in June). At the time I …
At the end of February, right before everything shut down, a friend was working on an international shidduch for me and I was all, “I think I should fly to meet him, it’s ridiculous to meet someone over Zoom.” Hahahaha. Apparently it’s not so ridiculous, after all. This new frontier in shidduch dating definitely deserves a real discussion. …
I write in my journal almost every day. Sometimes I write a few paragraphs and sometimes I write more than five pages. I write about anything that comes to mind — stuff going on in my life, creative ideas, to-do lists…Sometimes I reread what I write and sometimes I don’t. I try to keep to it regularly even when I’m …
