For the past few weeks, Mishpacha Magazine has been publishing a lot of content about shidduchim, problems in the system, possible solutions, letters in response, etc…and I haven’t written about it here. The truth is that I am tired of digesting this type of content and figuring out, then articulating, my thoughts.
I’m tired of being everyone’s problem. I’m tired of being marginalized and muted by married people who always know better, and having to explain what they are missing. I’m tired of my situation being discussed, dissected, and analyzed in the abstract by people who can’t relate and just want something juicy to schmooze about.
People on the whole mean well and it’s nice to know there are all these grassroots community initiatives/shidduch activists/etc out there trying to make a difference, but I don’t have it in me to muster any enthusiasm. I guess in my heart it’s like, even if these ideas could be potential “solutions” for people, if they aren’t solutions for me, spare me the headache, heartache, compromised dignity, disappointment.
My time, my privacy, and mostly my hope have been tossed around so much by so many people involved in so many initiatives for so many years, and I’ve slogged through so much disappointment…I feel very disengaged at this point. Like I mentioned last week, I am in a space right now where I feel foggy and unclear regarding a path forward. So I don’t have much to add to this conversation. And that’s why I haven’t addressed it.
