One of my social worker friends was super-encouraging of my going back to school. She said, “I think it will really give you satisfaction to be a therapist, and aside from that, I think you’ll love the process of becoming a therapist.”
Well. I thought I knew what to expect. I know from therapy. Many of my friends are therapists. I read a lot of therapy-related books. Inner work is my jam.
Still, the beginning of this semester presented a very steep learning curve. The good news is that now I have a number of tips and observations to share with anyone who is considering the field. (Btw, I have no regrets. Although the first week of the semester, I did. More on that below).
First of all, before you consider becoming a therapist, you’ve gotta do your own therapy. Even if you don’t think you have any real “issues” to work through (although most of us has got something), try it out. Think of it as a reconnaissance mission before making this decision. And it just may happen that you end up discovering the potential deep within yourself to be a healthier, happier person. If the thought of doing this makes you uncomfortable, well, that’s important to know, because in this field, as someone said, we need to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”
I know a therapist who first went to speak to someone only because she had to as part of her training — and found herself working through years of relational trauma she had never been able to acknowledge. Personally, I think it’s miraculous that she had this opportunity, but it’s only fair to tell people in advance that something like this might happen to them, too.
Basically, doing your own work is the only way to know what this job entails and to build the emotional strength to be able to do this work with other people.
Second, do your research. Learn about what’s out there in the field and what speaks to you. I like to listen to the Therapy Chat podcast to learn about different therapeutic modalities and I’m also a big reader. The field of social work is broad, and mental health is only one branch of it, so you’ll be learning about all kinds of general topics in graduate school. You don’t have to set in stone where you want to be five years from now, but I find that it is helpful for me to have specific goals to focus on.
Third, know that it’s normal to be triggered. At some point during your first semester, you’re going to be taking part in a discussion or watching a video or reading a case study and suddenly you will feel something happening to you. This feeling of overwhelming panic takes over, your body’s response to suddenly being confronted with all the darkness of the world. I actually thought I’d have to quit school after my first week. My whole body was saying, “Run and don’t stop running.” B”H I have a friend who is a couple of semesters ahead of me and I was able to talk these feelings out with her. (Social work programs also have counselors for students to talk to, for this reason). Unless you’re a sociopath, this is an inevitable part of the process. Your brain does learn to maintain perspective and become more boundaried, and your tolerance for hearing about difficult and painful things does increase. But it is normal to feel overwhelmed and completely not up to the task for a long while when you’re starting out.
Also, hold onto your values. This was something I was sort-of-kind-of prepared for until I was actually in the milieu and experiencing what it means to have your values completely under assault and to not be able to say anything. (And really, don’t say anything. Just get the A in the class and vent to your family and friends after class). I’ve heard the Orthodox Jewish culture mocked (and yes, somehow we are the politically-correct group to mock), lots and lots of anti-science or anti-statistics claims being made about different issues, my political beliefs written off as unacceptable — and I’ve been very, very quiet. For those who know me in real life, this is pretty impressive 😉 but you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. I then go home and vent to anyone who will listen, call a friend, visit a neighbor, write in my journal etc. etc. And by the way, there are almost always people in the class who agree with you. They’re just not saying anything either.
To be honest, the combination of sitting through triggering content and listening to your values being assaulted is rather lethal. Like I said in the beginning, the first week of school I was wishing I’d never started. But I’m over that now b”H. Found my sea legs, as they say.
Finally, keep working on yourself. The psychologist Carl Rogers greatly influenced the field of modern therapy practice. He taught that successful therapy requires empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard. In order to provide these core traits, the therapist needs to be able to truly be present, open, and nonjudgmental. This means that the therapist needs to work through her own biases and baggage that could effect how she is with the client (i.e. having the urge to “fix” a situation, to correct someone’s thinking, to tell people what to do, or having your moods be strongly effected by your clients…). Therapists need to do ongoing inner work. It’s standard for therapists to be in their own therapy as part of their professional supervision. So that’s something to really consider about this field. Do you want to dive deep into your inner world in order to be effective? Because it won’t be optional.
Those are my thoughts so far. Feel free to share and to add your own! I’m happy to answer any questions about this post or anything related.
