Do you ever think about the kind of mother you’ll be?
The truth is, as a teenager, the thought of being responsible for raising children one day used to make me anxious. I really wasn’t confident around kids. (Would never babysit). And I thought babies and little kids were so boring, and their mothers were more boring still.
Fast forward to college and graduate school. Something changed when I took a class called “Worlds of Childhood” (we used this textbook, fyi). I learned about how children develop from the very start, what their needs are at different stages, and how to nurture them so they progress through stages of development. By learning about parenting through a more scientific lens, positive, productive parenting began to seem like something within even my grasp. (I also learned about the thirty million word gap, which started me on a relentless campaign to annoy the people I know into talking to their babies, but that’s for another time). Now I read books on parenting and child development to empower myself.
Child development is fascinating, and I feel that by better understanding it, I’ll be better prepared to nurture my own kids. There’s no pressure to be doing this now, obviously, and it’s purely for my own interest; I just figure now is as good a time as any to learn all about raising kids.
Here are some I’ve read:
I really loved Bright from the Start, by Jill Stamm. This is pretty much a manual for understanding and nurturing a baby’s development from 0-3, with lots of practical advice. I especially love how she explains the neuroscience of development throughout the book. (Baby brains are the most amazing thing you will ever learn about). This book would make an excellent baby gift.
Parenting from the Inside Out and The Whole Brain Child, both by Daniel Siegel. Simple neuroscience translated into practical strategies. Dr. Siegel really emphasizes how the parent’s self-understanding contributes to positive parenting. Both highly recommended. I also read Brainstorm by the same author, which was good, but read the other two first.
Thirty Million Words: Building a Child’s Brain, by Dana Suskind, is a book about the word gap and creating a language-rich environment for babies. (Also recommended here).
French Kids Eat Everything, by Karen Le Billon. This was so interesting! I could (should?) write an entire post on this book but basically, it’s part-memoir, part-parenting book about how French parents expand their children’s culinary palates from an early age so that by the time they’re 3, French kids eat everything adults will eat (think: a more healthy, whole, varied diet). I kept reading parts of this out loud to my long-suffering family members.
The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids, by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Sandahl. This is a quick read but I like that it gives a basic overview of several topics addressed more in-depth in other books (like The Whole Brain Child). I read it on the beach.
To Kindle a Soul, by Rabbi Leib Keleman. This one I actually read way back in seminary. I do believe it was the first parenting book I ever picked up, and unfortunately I don’t remember specifics.
With Hearts Full of Love, by Rav Mattisyahu Solomon. This is based on a series of classes Rav Mattisyahu Solomon shlit”a gave to fathers and it is truly uplifting. It’s about parenting on a higher plane.
On my to-read list:
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman
No-Drama Discipline, by Daniel Siegel
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, by Laura Markham (I have a copy of this that I won as a door prize because that’s just the kind of thing I win as a door prize).
The Wonder Weeks, by Hetty van de Rjit and Frans X. Plooij
Touchpoints: Zero to Three, by T. Berry Brazelton
How Toddlers Thrive, by Tovah P. Klein
Do you read parenting books? Any recommendations?
