Recently I said to my therapist, “I don’t know if I should worry, but I feel like I’m in my post-shidduchim era. I haven’t done hishtadlus in the longest time and I just feel distant from the whole thing. Like I’m not being busy with it anymore.” It’s true, I can’t remember the last time I did anything proactive for shidduchim. I just feel really not there and this is a much-needed respite.
We talked about the difference between feeling helpless and powerless (more on that in another post) and then my therapist pointed out that this could be a season. Meaning, it isn’t necessarily a long-term decision, it’s just where I am now. I thought that was wise (and if this sounds a tad obvious, maybe it is, but it still took an objective outsider to clarify that for me). So that’s where I am right now. A not-doing-hishtadlus season. A letting-things-ride season. A winter season?
