Against my better judgement, I picked up a few frum publications over Yom Tov and curiously flipped through them. Multiple periodicals had articles about shidduchim or that were shidduchim-adjacent. Obviously. And the commonality I found was that there was a dehumanizing quality to them: one was about a young married woman’s project of being nice to her single friend, one was about financial negotiations when marrying off children, a number were about the new idea to put girls in the freezer to shrink the marriage age gap.
I always need to take a beat after reading these kinds of things to remember that I am a person, not a problem. That I’m not defined by the way other people see me or us or our situation. And that just because people think in these ways or believe these things doesn’t make it relevant to me.
It’s also a good reminder to control my input and choose uplifting material that makes me feel empowered and good and hopeful.
If you’re feeling triggered by Yom Tov reading, I totally see you and hope you can metabolize it quickly, move it out of your system, and go on to fill up on stuff that makes you feel good!
Thank you for the reminder! Which one had the story about being nice to the single friend?
The Voice of Lakewood