As you may have gathered from my post last week, I have been working through a lot of old stuff about what I am and am not “allowed” to want in a shidduch. I trace this stuff to a workshop I took years ago when I was a much younger dater and I wanted all the guidance I could get. …
My friend pointed out that the challenge of shidduchim is double because it’s painful and it’s public. Not only do you have to go through it, you have to explain to people why you’re doing what you’re doing. We’re used to this being the way it is, it’s the water around us, but it is seriously not normal to have …
Hello, all. A little post about something comforting. This Canadian cottage is so happy. It reminds me of summers past and it’s reminiscent of The Blue Castle by L. M. Montgomery. One of the items on my bucket list is to own a cottage by a lake one day. One day! “Moonlight and the murmur of pines blended together …
I’m having a moment here, and I’m reflecting… If I could do it over, I would erase every workshop I took on shidduchim. I would erase every speech I trustingly absorbed. I would erase every formula. Every manual. Every checklist I was given. I would wipe the slate clean and just be me, a bright-eyed romantic looking for a …
Hello, all. Recently I listened to a terrific interview about relationship red flags with Lisa Twerski. Even if you’ve learned about how to identify dating red flags, I think this episode is worth a listen. Another resource I enjoyed is this video where Rachel Tuchman and Elisheva Liss talk about The Surrendered Wife approach to relationships and healthier ways …
It’s hard for me to believe I’m voluntarily writing yet another midterm paper when I just finished school five minutes ago, but here we are. I can’t seem to stay away. Social work is a unique profession within the broader mental health field in that it primarily focuses on the person within their environment and on addressing broader social …
I’m back at work in person one day a week, and I’m fortunate enough to have an office on a really high floor in a building in Chelsea. I face my office window most of the day and watch helicopters circle above the Hudson River. I watch seagulls sail by and imagine what it would be like to fly over …
A few months ago I took a poetry therapy workshop where we did a number of exercises based on various poems. We read the following excerpt from “In Blackwater Woods,” by Mary Oliver: “…To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your …
At one point a few years ago, I gave myself a “shidduchim bedtime.” I had to stop thinking about shidduchim, checking WhatsApp and email, and waiting to hear back from people by 10:45 PM (the end of the civilized evening). Otherwise I’d compulsively check my phone just one more time as I got ready for a shower, got ready for …
When we (as a community) talk about “older singles,” we talk about statistics and we talk about self-sabotage. And that is all we talk about. Whether there is any constructive purpose to these conversations is up for discussion. I’m not weighing in now, but I am saying that, at minimum, I don’t think this is all that the conversation …
