(No) Simple Answers

My mother’s friend called her for advice for her friend who has four daughters in shidduchim. Since my mother has had various numbers of daughters in shidduchim for varying lengths of time, this woman thought my mother might have some insight into what her friend could “do differently” to help her daughters get married. My mother and I spoke afterwards …

Love This

Going down one of my rabbit holes on singlehood in the frum community, I came upon this article: “Best Practices for the Inclusion of Singles in Our Communities.” Love it and agree with every word!   Would be nice to see something like this coming from the charedi corner, too, ngl.   Let me know what you think!  

This Should Be Basic Redt-iquette

Dear everyone who wants to redt a shidduch,   That’s very nice of you. Please, when you email or text someone for their shidduch resume, remember to introduce yourself (unless you are in touch on a regular basis), provide some background/context (such as how you got their contact information, or why you thought of them), and let them know where …

Ordinary Delight

I had a discussion recently with a friend about consumerism in the frum community. We both see how it’s ballooned in recent years and it leaves us feeling empty and uncomfortable.   One of the things I’ve tried to do a lot on this blog is shine a light on the endless delights and pleasures of an ordinary life. The …

I Skipped My Cousin’s Wedding and Everyone Survived

Last week my 10-years-younger-than-me cousin got married and I did not attend. The truth is that I didn’t even consider going — I knew it was just not what I needed. A few years ago I would have suffered through the same but somehow with thirty came the freedom to stop caring about what other people think (everyone is too …

Guest Post?

Hey, all. I have been super busy with schoolwork as the semester winds down. Gah! Can’t believe it’s almost the end, though. Then I am off for a few weeks, which sounds amazing.   I have been keeping a running list for forever of topics to write about and there really is no end (b”H) – the world and life …

Glimmers

A friend recently sent me an article about “glimmers” which are the opposite of “triggers.” Triggers activate our fight/flight/freeze responses, but glimmers activate our sense of safety and connection. This is a concept from Deb Dana, LCSW, who is an expert in polyvagal theory, an approach to understanding and healing trauma. Glimmers are found in small moments and reminders of …

Evidence of Love

I read a beautiful idea in Mary Pipher’s book Women Rowing North. When you are struggling with sadness or loneliness or hopelessness about the future, look around you for evidence of love in the world. I find amazing evidence of love all that time through my job. I work with people dealing with serious illness, and I hear stories about “ordinary” …

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