So, no, this is not an easy thing to be doing in your twenties or beyond.
The manager at my bank branch always asks me if I’m still living at home. “Actually, yes.” “Smart girl!” she says. “Stay there as long as you can.” And I’m like, “Thanks, Candace.”
But seriously, there’s this tug-of-war. On the one hand, most of America deems it appropriate for an adult woman to have moved into her own place. And, meshaneh makom, meshaneh mazel. And, SPACE.
On the other hand, there’s that feeling of, I don’t want to be single-single and if I live in my own apartment, maybe that’s what I am.
Everyone needs to do what works best for them, so there’s no one right answer. The one thing you don’t want to be, regardless of where you live at any given time, is stuck.
So my one bright thought on this topic is that when it’s time to make a change, make a change.
There was a great story about a year and a half ago in Family First about a single woman in her early thirties who redecorated her childhood bedroom from top to bottom. No more Hello Kitty decals, my goodness. Yes!
So maybe, if you’re feeling stuck, take a good hard look at your surroundings. Consider switching bedrooms with someone in your family.
Throw stuff out. You (probably) don’t need camp souvenirs anymore. Try this book for inspiration — it helped me and some friends get rid of things we just didn’t need to have around.
Change your daily routine.
Go shopping and do a wardrobe revamp.
Accept Shabbos meal invitations just for you.
Go back to school and/or take lessons in something new.
And maybe, find roommates and move into your own place.
So many of us can relate to this tricky situation. Just remember to treat yourself like the adult you are and to talk things through with someone if you’re having boundary issues etc. with family members. You are not alone!
If you live with your parents, what tips or strategies have helped you to make things work?
