Many of us have a “frequent flyer” shidduch suggestion that keeps coming up, and in my case, the answer is “Yes, we know about each other, he isn’t interested…” For context, he lives near me, he went out with my cousin, my friend’s husband is his friend (they tried to get him to say yes — more to unpack here for a different time), we ran into each other in the grocery store, we met at a shabbaton, etc. etc. Recently two people mentioned him to me the same week; I told a friend who’s been following the five-year saga, and she asked, rhetorically, “What’s a girl to do?”
What, indeed, is there to do? Well…nothing. Hashem makes shidduchim.
My friend pointed out that doing “nothing” is not really nothing at all. Being able to do nothing takes a lot of inner work, healing, internalizing bitachon, patience, and self-respect. It’s paradoxically easier to obsess and to make drama and call a million people to pressure and push.
A long time ago I wrote a poem about doing everything I knew how to do to get married (I wrote this years ago! My goodness!). I wrote about working on myself and developing in different areas, which was hard and took a lot of persistence. I wrote that now that I had done everything I could, “maybe the last step of doing everything is doing nothing.”
Maybe it is.
“Maybe the last step of doing everything is doing nothing.”
WOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHH
So brilliant
Please can you make this into a poster I can affix to my wall and see every single morning….
I got the chills when I wrote that line in my journal back when – sometimes I can just feel how the writing doesn’t come from me but through me. And I love the idea of making it into a poster!