I have found it helpful in recent years to think about unchosen, prolonged singlehood in terms of grief and loss. I’ve written a bit about ambiguous loss, regret, and heartbreak here. The concept of nonfinite loss, or experiencing a life that is very different from what you expected, is also a helpful lens through which to look at this experience. Nonfinite loss often comes with feelings of fear and dread in addition to grief and sadness, because usually the unexpected path is one that we had learned to fear and dread from a young age.
This article by Litsa Williams, explaining nonfinite grief and loss and providing suggestions for coping with these feelings and experiences, is such an amazing resource. Just to call out a few suggestions: control your flow of information (you don’t have to read everything that makes you feel worse), explore your personal ideals and fears, consider the idea of “adaption” rather than “acceptance.” I hope you find it helpful like I did.
