I tend to write blog posts on various topics in spurts (like hope, or optimism, or mindfulness). Well, now I am doing creativity. I just put this book on hold at the library and I’m thinking about ordering this one on Amazon.
Being in shidduchim is
- Nonlinear – There is no straight line or direct relationship between the input and output (effort and outcome, action and result).
- Unpredictable – There is no formula or prescription that results in predictable, reliable results (even for the same person at different times).
- Mysterious – The reasons people experience what they do, or have the outcomes they do, are unknown.
- Individual – What works for one person might not work for another, and what helps one person might be harmful to another.
On reviewing this list, it makes sense that advice and “common knowledge” often leads to burnout, self-blame, and disappointment.
The creative approach to shidduchim involves finding
- Flow – a place where we are doing what feels natural and optimal given our individual natures
- Lightness – letting go of attachment to a particular time frame or person, and not attaching weightiness to or personalizing every encounter or experience
- Vision – clarifying the way we want to feel and the dreams we want to achieve and living in alignment with that vision. Katherine Woodward Thomas writes that we are not limited by our past experiences but by our vision for the future.
And with this creative orientation, shidduchim can feel very different.
