Jealousy can be a scary word that carries heavy associations. If I’m jealous, does that mean I’m a bad person? Isn’t it one of the worst traits a person can have? I remember desperately trying to force myself to not be jealous when my best friend got engaged when we were 21. I know now that I was so young and scared of being lost without her and I have nothing to be ashamed of for how I felt at the time. But at the time I had a lot of shame for how I felt.
I coined the word jealousadness to describe what it feels like when you watch someone get the blessings you want so badly. It’s not mean-spiritedness or pettiness. You wouldn’t want to hurt them by taking away what they have. You’d just switch places if you could. It’s the most human feeling in the world. And it doesn’t make you a bad person.