(This will be my last post before Pesach. I’ll be back in business be”H on Monday, April 24th.)
Seder night is coming. I didn’t think I would be single this year at the Seder. I didn’t expect this. Did you?
The Nesivos Shalom says that the entire Seder night is an incredibly potent time to ask Hashem for anything. It is a night of pure love that transcends the natural order, a night of leaping over the constraints of our reality into a whole new place. Specifically, the moment before the Mah Nishtana, where haggados traditionally print “kahn haben sho’el” – here the child asks – is a time not just for the youngest child to ask the Mah Nishtana, but for every “child” to ask Hashem for whatever she needs.
I have (another) recently-developed Pesach tradition of slipping away from the Seder just before the Mah Nishtana. In the hectic hubbub of Erev Yom Tov, I don’t always get a chance to really connect to the essence of Y”T. But once everything’s settled down and we’re actually sitting at the Seder, the moment of “haben sho’el” brings everything back into focus. I slip into my bedroom, close the door behind me, and in those few moments of privacy, I ask. I don’t know what words will come, but here are some thoughts.
You know exactly what I’m going to ask now. I did this a year ago. You know that throughout the year I try to keep davening, and sometimes it’s easy for me to ask, and I feel so close to You, and sometimes I really don’t have the words or the energy. But You know exactly what I need and exactly what I want so badly. Tonight is different than all other nights. Tonight is the night when the limits fall away and everything is possible. Tonight is the night of miracles. Please bring my yeshuah with Your strong Hand and outstretched Arm. I want to get married so I can be a giver as You are a Giver.
Wishing you all a chag kasher v’sameach! Thank you for being a reader! May all your tefillos be answered l’tova!
Nesivos Shalom and personal prayer in one post? Doesn’t get more beautiful than this.
Thanks so much! And thank you for stopping by!