The other day I wanted a change of scenery so I went to Manhattan. I walked from midtown uptown for awhile, then sat by the pool at Lincoln Center. In the quiet, I wrote down some thoughts on a piece of scrap paper. I wrote that I am feeling grateful as I reflect upon the blessings I received this year — getting an internship I loved, graduating, getting hired, having a positive cycle (more on this some other time), passing my licensing exam, an apartment situation that was really perfect for me, and many other blessings along the way. I wrote that I feel optimistic and hopeful as I look to the new year ahead. Then I stopped for a moment. A little voice told me that next I should write about the disappointments and stresses of the past year, and what didn’t happen. But I didn’t want to. Instead I basked in the warmth of my good feelings and my hopefulness for a good year ahead. And I wrote, “Let that be my motto for Rosh Hashanah. Grateful and hopeful.”
Before Rosh Hashanah, I tend to worry about whether I’ll do it right. Right as in, will I feel enough of a lack that I daven from a deep enough place with enough kavana to turn keys and unlock doors? Will I use the opportunity to the fullest? Will I sell myself short and regret it later? And sitting in Lincoln Center, I thought, that’s not how I need to look at it. I can come into Rosh Hashanah from a place of abundance and happiness, not scarcity and fear. From a place of gratitude and fullness, recognizing the good Hashem has already given me and building off of that to envision and reach and hope for something better. And I thought, I can have a truly happy Rosh Hashanah. Not anxiously, ritualistically happy. But truly happy. Because I already have so much to be happy about. So many blessings I can point to that were allotted to me on Rosh Hashanahs past.
That’s how I want to go into this Rosh Hashanah. With peace and serenity and gratitude. With joy and abundance, like a pomegranate bursting with jewels, like an apple dripping with gold. Grateful and hopeful.
Wishing you and yours a happy, sweet new year.
Loveee!
Thank you, I’m so glad 🙂