Initially, I was going to write this up like a Top 5 but…I will leave that to the pros. Up there with answering “what are you looking for?” is the subtle aggravation of trying to extract shidduch information from a hopeful suggester. (Disclaimer: THANK YOU to everyone who tries to make shidduchim, especially mine 😉 . You are appreciated.)
I’m probably not the only one who has a hard time getting a feel for someone from the following descriptions (sooorry for only using guy examples, these are things I hear on my end but it cuts both ways, obviously. Actually I really want to hear the non-descriptions that guys get about girls):
So what can you tell me about him?
“He’s a good, frum guy.” Oh, very nice, can you tell me more? “He’s really a good, frum guy.”
“Once you get to know him you see he really has personality.” Oh, is THAT how this works, eh? Dating to get to know someone?
“He’s looking for a nice, normal girl. Someone with the right hashkafos who has her head on her shoulders.”
“He has what to say but he’s not ra-ra. He might come across on the quieter side, but he has what to say.”
“He does his own thing but totally mainstream.”
I don’t mean to poke fun at actual guys I have heard about, who were described this way through no fault of their own, but to point out how shidduch research can sometimes be an exercise in futility. (But it’s still important. There might be a future post on that.)
What are your favorite non-descriptions? I’m missing some good ones, I just know it.
“he’s the total tzura of a ben torah” umm what does that mean?