I’ve been thinking about a particular kind of loneliness that’s deeper than having limited social connection. It’s the feeling of being truly alone on an existential level.
The truth is that we are all alone in this way. It is only ever really us and G-d. But being single in the frum community makes this more obvious. In a family-centric society, out of step with the “normal” life rhythms all around, I realize that it might not register with anyone if I would vanish for awhile. And that’s unnerving.
A friend who recently got divorced wrote a poem about having this feeling on Purim. This realization that even with her support system, at the end of the day, she is alone. Here is an excerpt from her poem that hit me deeply (shared with her permission, of course):
This is such a painful understanding to reach, but I think it can also be an opportunity to connect on a deeper level with Hashem. To feel that He is near when we are alone. And that we are never completely alone.
