Hi, everyone. I hope you are doing well. Onto some more dating optimism!
Step #1 was about focusing on your belief that you can have what you dream of. Step #2 was about going all in on wanting it even if it’s scary or uncomfortable. Step #3 is about identifying what it is that you really want.
For this step, you are going to make your big list! Here are the guidelines:
- Focus on what you want in the relationship as opposed to the person. For example, instead of a physical description, write that you want to be in a relationship with someone you find attractive. Instead of a specific shared interest, write that you want to feel appreciated for the things your enjoy or what you care about.
- Be specific about what you want in your relationship.
- Consider what you like about the relationships you admire and add those things to the list.
- Consider how you want to be in your dream relationship (ex. I want to feel calm and confident) and add that to the list.
- Consider what you really need in a relationship, not just what you want (ex. someone organized to balance your free-spiritedness).
- Stop with the “shoulds.” You have permission to want what you want.
- Stop with “just.” You don’t “just” want “someone normal.” You are allowed to want it all!
To create your big list, start with a line at the top that says, “In my dream relationship, I want to feel…” and go from there.
Look at your list and focus on it. The more often you do that, the more energy you’ll create. Seeing your list written down makes it evident that the dream relationship you have in your head is possible.
So there we are! Enjoy writing your list, remember that you do NOT have to hold anything back! You have every right to want what you want and write it all down! Good luck!
