Rav Dessler writes in Michtav Me’Eliyahu that it’s natural for someone to start a Y”T on a high and then slowly lose enthusiasm over the course of the chag. (Think about the difference in the atmosphere on the first night as opposed to the last afternoon of a Y”T, if you can relate). Not so for a Jew who is great in Torah and avodas Hashem; the growing Jew deepens her appreciation for the chag from day to day until she reaches her greatest level of simcha on the last day.
Bais Shammai says that we should light the menorah to reflect the “realistic” scenario: light it up with eight flames for the first night and diminish the light by one flame each night until it’s faded out. Bais Hillel says the opposite: start small and keep adding a flame until your menorah is fully lit up. We light according to Bais Hillel, not because we deny the reality of how people tend to work, but to show ourselves that even if we are lacking as human beings (as in the Bais Shammai view), we still approach our spiritual growth with a positive outlook.
There is a popular myth that the longer women are out of seminary and single, the less spiritual they become. What can you expect?, the people ask each other. These girls are out in the world, they’re not grounded in their own homes, it is what it is.
I don’t buy it.
Every person can lose their spirituality if they don’t protect it, if they don’t nurture it, if they don’t fan its flames. Every person can grow their spirituality throughout life, with the numerous opportunities we are each given – our lives are a series of small and large tests.
A human being is a work-in-progress until 120. Nothing is a given, for anyone at any life stage. Not for the good, not for the bad. If you don’t like where you are spiritually, you can move. You can have a goal. You can make a change. You can grow. Even if it’s been awhile. Even if no one else believes in you. Your neshama reaches forever upward; that is your true identity.
Come light the menorah on Sunday night. The flame is not going to last. It’s going to sputter and burn out. But the next night you’ll light two instead. And the next night you’ll light three. It’s not about how long the first flame lasts. It’s about coming back for more. For you, for me, for all of us.
Have a freilichen, lichtigen Chanukah! May you be uplifted by the light of the menorah and may you find the peace to daven with clarity.
P.S. Please buy yourself something to cheer up the winter ahead. My trampoline just arrived and I’m looking forward to opening it up on the first night!
