Something undeniable: I find it easier to read secular books/articles about dating and being single than I do anything frum on the same topics. It’s like a sensitivity I’ve developed over the past few years; shidduchim-talk pushes my buttons. Instead, more generic encouragement and advice is easier to integrate and helps me feel supported. I’m not sure why this is, but I guess when it’s close to home it’s more emotionally charged for me with feelings of fear, failure, and shame. I think there’s a message there too that a single woman is tragically incomplete, and I prefer to hear messages that frame singlehood as a neutral state, something with benefits and challenges.
