I read Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff about four years ago and it remains one of the most life-changing books I have ever read. Self-compassion is a gentle, open way of viewing ourselves that allows us to be imperfect and be in process. It has three parts: self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity. When we treat ourselves with compassion, we talk to …
I got this idea from Gretchen Rubin, and a similar idea, position statements, from Mary Pipher. Then a friend mentioned something similar this week and I thought about how I might apply this concept to my own life. It’s a simple idea: establish a policy for how you typically deal with a given scenario, and outsource your future decisions to …
Psychologist Christina Maslach, who studies burnout, identified three components of burnout (a result of chronic stress): exhaustion, cynicism, and inefficacy. Most burnout studies focus on workplace burnout or caregiver burnout. I think this is a useful concept to think about regarding shidduchim.
Hello, all. First of all, if you are a new reader I’d like to say welcome! (Tisha B’Av was a high traffic day here, and I’m so glad you’ve found us). I’d like to take the opportunity to ask that if you find this blog to be helpful, validating, or enjoyable, please pass it along, as I am sharing in …
I had a thoughtful and interesting conversation with a friend on the subject of manifesting, and I’m curious to hear your thoughts. The concept of manifestation has become really popular in the frum world in the past several years (I’m not quite sure when this began?). The idea is that by following a series of steps (usually a variation …
One of my friends told me recently that she started to get regular manicures because she realized she was only getting them for dates and she wanted to have them for herself, too. I thought it was funny that I’ve had the exact opposite reaction; I used to get manicures all the time for dates (Essie’s “Meet Me at the …
This article by Ingrid Fetell Lee is honestly the best thing I’ve read about scarcity mindset.
This winter/early spring, as you’ll soon tire of hearing, was verrry stressful. I had a notion that being super-busy would feel energizing and empowering (?), but in the end it was just horrifying (lol). I started to feel anxious about life in general and stuck and even hopeless. I hadn’t realized to what extent the work stress was impacting me …
I read this article by Dr. Shira Kessler with interest, on emerging adulthood and frum women. I was struck by the sense of pressure felt by emerging adult women in the frum community — to choose a career path, to look put-together all the time, and of course, to get married ASAP. None of this is exactly surprising to any …
A friend and I were talking about how similarly we feel about certain experiences in shidduchim (what makes us feel stressed, pressured, or judged), and how we have found that other people feel differently. This reminded me of one of Gretchen Rubin’s Secrets of Adulthood: We are mostly alike, but our differences are very important. I also thought about …
