My married cousin asked me this question last Motzoei Shabbos after we spent a large part of Shabbos afternoon talking about what I am looking for, my dating experiences, etc. I thought it was a clever question, and I am still thinking about it. How much of me identifies as someone in shidduchim as opposed to all the other things …
My cousin made an insightful comment over Pesach: when she is with other people’s children, she tries to aim for yes. As she put it, “Kids hear ‘no’ so often, and if you’re spending time with them, it feels amazing to them when you say ‘yes’ where you can.” As in, yes, you can run to the corner and wait …
Sometimes it is hard for me to feel happy for someone else’s simcha, even when intellectually I want to be, and I care about their happiness. What is it? I had a few thoughts:
We all have our struggles that make shidduchim uniquely challenging and painful for each of us. I have struggled mightily with feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy: How do I know that I’m trying hard enough, pushing and stretching myself enough (whatever that means), being open enough (whatever that means)? When I was davening at the Kosel in February, I felt …
I enjoyed the book Dedicated: The Case for Commitment in an Age of Infinite Browsing, by Pete Davis. The book explores the challenges and benefits of committing to a cause, community, person, or craft for the long haul, in the face of seemingly infinite options. This little episode made me think:
None of us knows quite where we will find ourselves when we meet the right person, and what that process will look like, and how the pieces will fit together. But I’ve definitely absorbed the word on the street about what that process looks like for “older singles” (which I suppose I am): it’s lengthy, it’s complicated, it gets hard …
My friend recently got engaged, which reminded me that yes, it does happen. When it does, I want to be able to look back and be proud of myself for how I conducted myself through this process. When something is so painful, it’s hard to stay in command at all times, but these are some things I want to work …
Since elective egg freezing has mainstreamed relatively recently (in the past ten years or so), it’s understandable that many people feel unclear about and uncomfortable with this concept. Recently, I’ve heard people share things they believe or have heard about egg freezing that were simply inaccurate, and I wanted to clear up some misconceptions.
The other night I was skimming through old posts and getting a warm and fuzzy feeling, saying hi to past versions of myself preserved as emotional snapshots. I also noticed that my blog has evolved in surprising (to me) ways. When I started this blog, my mission was to uplift and encourage other single ladies (I was 24 at the …
A few months ago, the 18Forty podcast and website did a series on dating and marriage in the frum community. At the time, I thought, wow, this is incredibly validating stuff, but touching on a part of me too raw to engage with right now. But some time has passed, and I don’t want to not link it here because …
