Continuing on with my notes from Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. This concept is so interesting and provides a whole new way of mentally working with expectations, struggle, and patience: Your brain has a system for monitoring the ratio of effort to success you’re experiencing as you work towards a goal. It then compares this ratio with what …
A reader pointed out to me that I often suggest getting a dating coach or mentor to talk to before and during a dating relationship but I haven’t provided much information about how to find one. I’ve been fortunate to have a lot of support with dating in recent years but I know it can be hard to find someone …
Hey, all, let’s continue talking about dating through the lens of mindfulness. Last time we looked at pre-first date anxiety and ways to help yourself through that. Now let’s look at the first date itself. First dates are really nerve-wracking. Second and third dates etc, also. But first dates are uniquely nerve-wracking because there’s that Big Reveal. The …
So far we looked at suggestion-dread and shidduch research. I wanted to talk a bit about anxiety before a first date because that used to knock me flat. It’s a lot easier for me now but still not always a picnic. When I use the term anxiety here, I don’t mean it lightly: dating really triggers situational anxiety in …
First of all, I want to let you know that I have every intention of continuing the series on mindful dating, I just haven’t gotten to it yet, but I will! I have to write a paper about grief (again!) and basically we need to design a program that meets a need that is not being addressed in the …
This week I went to a wedding for the first time in months and months. The chosson was my cousin who used to come to us for Shabbos meals almost every week when he was in beis medrash, and we were very close. This was one of those couples that were both marrying their first — both just back from …
I found a helpful little podcast called Small Things Often, a collection of short clips (under 5 minutes) based on relationship research from the Gottman Institute. Each clip includes a mini-lesson and an exercise. I’m finding some of them to be really thought-provoking. Hope you enjoy this resource!
Hi, everyone. I hope you’re doing well. Continuing on with our series on mindful dating: shidduch research, everyone’s favorite activity. In this post I’ll give a few practical suggestions but mostly I’ll focus on you and your feelings during the research stage of a shidduch. So as with any aspect of shidduchim, getting a guy’s resume and going …
Okaaay, folks! We’re back in business. Over the next few weeks, I am be”H going to be working on a series of posts on mindful dating. I brainstormed a list of topics about the stress and anxiety of the shidduch process, and I’m hoping to address them all in this series. You might relate to some or all or none …
Chodesh tov! After the whirlwind of the past few weeks, it’s Cheshvan — time to pull out the sweaters and hunker down for a nice, long stretch of routine. It occurs to me that Cheshvan is a great time to sit down with a steaming cup of tea and a notebook and figure out how to actualize the insights …
