Hey, everyone, let’s talk about healthy positivity. The two terms in the title of this post are different ways of being optimistic/positive. Radical optimism is the belief that life is good and that we have the right to trust in positive outcomes, despite the difficulties and challenges we face and the misgivings we feel. Toxic positivity is the refusal …
The #1 concern shared by my readers (and by me) is the question: how do I know my husband is really out there? How do I know I’ll find him? And what if I don’t? You have probably discussed this with people over the years and been reminded that the bas kol proclaimed “bas ploni l’ploni” 40 days before …
I was going to write about the third top struggle you shared in the survey, the fear of not finding the right person, but that post will wait a bit. I want to share another one first, inspired by Cinderella’s glass slipper in Monday’s post. Many of us grew up with fairytales like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, in one …
The second of the top three challenges you shared in the survey was not having dates. We haven’t talked enough about that here, so let’s get into it. When I was in my low 20’s, I had a conversation with one of my uncles about shidduchim. I was very down and said that no one was interested in me. …
One of the top three dating struggles you shared in the survey was the fear that there is something wrong with you or that you are doing something wrong in shidduchim. Let’s try to put that fear to rest. Several years ago I listened to a shiur by Mrs. Dina Schoonmaker on emunah in shidduchim (it was live …
Hi, everyone. I hope you all had a good Y”T. It’s been awhile since I added to our mindful dating series but it’s one of my favorite things on this blog so here’s another installment! Let’s say you’re on a date, maybe it’s the first or third or fifth, and you’re hit with a wave of anxiety. You get …
Hey, all, I just wanted to take a look at some common shidduch clichés and reexamine them. What I find the most irritating about the items on this list is that they all make such sweeping generalities and then leave it up to you to know how, or even whether, to apply them to your situation. Which isn’t really fair, …
This week my roommate helped me prepare for a job interview. We discussed what I would say when the interviewer would inevitably ask why I left Career #1. I hemmed and hawed, not sure how my answers sounded, when my roommate said, “You could just tell them you didn’t like it so you switched to something you enjoy.” This …
I’ve been in shidduchim for many years now, and there were times I was extremely lonely and times I wasn’t lonely at all. It depended on a few factors, including how interested I was in marriage, how many close friends were around, and what other fulfilling relationships — like new friends I made at work, or my extended family — …
Last week we talked about the pain of rejection, which is so real and present for many of us. At the same time, there is the struggle of being the one to say no yourself, and for some women (wildly raises hand) this is very difficult to do. Like extremely, in some cases (keeps hand raised). Because many of us …
