Recently I asked a friend to contact someone we both know and find out if he’d go out with me. It was a reach, and he said no. I was definitely very disappointed. But instead of being hard on myself for putting myself out there, I remembered the famous Wayne Gretzky line: “You miss one hundred percent of the shots …
Hello, all. Please fill out my 60-second questionnaire! Thanks! Everything about shidduchim takes SO LONG. Phone tag, waiting to hear back from people, should-I-shouldn’t-I-follow-up… “He’s busy, he has to get back to me, call me next week, text me a reminder, I’m going out of town, I’m making a wedding, they’re making a wedding, I didn’t hear from …
Hello, all. Last week I went away for a few days to my sister in Toms River. The idea was that I would use her pool every day but of course I didn’t use it once (lol). I went to my sister for vacation because I didn’t really know what to do with myself this summer but I knew …
The last time I was in E”Y was before COVID, in August 2019 (and what a wonderful week it was). I wanted to go this summer but it didn’t work out. Maybe later this year… My cousin was just there and her WhatsApp status made me homesick. I miss E”Y — when I’m there I remember who I am. …
A friend sent me a link to this study she found, on the struggles of Orthodox Jewish daters. This is the kind of research that makes my heart sing — a large qualitative study of an under-studied issue that matters so much to me. I had to share the link! P.S. Now that I’ve had a bit of a …
What does community mean to you? I’ve thought a lot about it off and on since moving into my apartment about two years ago. My roommates and I became part of the neighborhood, and that was important, I found, in helping me feel more like an adult. Going places for Shabbos meals and reaching out to reconnect with people also …
Am I doing enough? I know I’m busy but am I doing enough-enough? Like maybe I should take to Instagram or Substack as a content creator or start a coaching business or give a course or self-publish a guided journal or — well, you know. We live in such a knowledge- and service-based economy, it’s hard to feel like you’re …
Thank you for everything. Thank you for checking in on me, listening to me, rooting for me, advocating for me, davening for me. Thank you for your support and encouragement and loyalty, for never believing what “everyone” says, for telling me I’m not crazy no matter how upside-down everything feels. You guys are the best. P.S. My single friends …
As you may have gathered from my post last week, I have been working through a lot of old stuff about what I am and am not “allowed” to want in a shidduch. I trace this stuff to a workshop I took years ago when I was a much younger dater and I wanted all the guidance I could get. …
My friend pointed out that the challenge of shidduchim is double because it’s painful and it’s public. Not only do you have to go through it, you have to explain to people why you’re doing what you’re doing. We’re used to this being the way it is, it’s the water around us, but it is seriously not normal to have …
