A couple weeks ago someone sent me a resume (and picture) and asked what I thought of the idea for me. It always makes me feel a little bad and sad to say no (but I do it). I looked at the picture and I thought how painful it is that innocent people need to be judged all the time …
I would like to create an art installation made entirely of shidduch resumes. A huge room lined wall to wall and floor to ceiling with shidduch resumes framed in gold. A juxtaposition of the casualness with which we treat the resume against the deference it truly deserves. No talking in the gallery, please. Silent respect.
Have you ever read A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L’engle? It was one of my favorite books growing up. But one thing in particular struck me when I picked it up recently. Mrs. Murry, mother of Meg, the twins, and Charles Wallace, is a microbiologist. She has two doctorates, in biology and bacteriology. And she is called “Mrs.”! It’s …
Shidduchim requires us to hold an amazing paradox: there is so much we can do — an endless number of things — and there is nothing we can do. The Brisker Rav famously said that hishtadlus in shidduchim is unnecessary, and it is permitted for our nerves. There will always be more hishtadlus we can think of, yet we know …
I realized that the main thing keeping me doing hishtadlus in shidduchim is the belief that there is an ending to all of this and the ending is good. Continuing to show up, try again, and inch along is a manifestation of that belief. I can’t make a miracle, but I can continue trying to place myself in its path. …
I told my uncle about a dilemma I have regarding guys who are interested in going out with me but who are not what I am looking for. I continue to struggle to find the balance between thoroughness and diligence, which feel productive and self-determined, and guilt and anxiety, which disempower me and make me feel compelled to do things …
What might it be like to get to know someone through writing letters instead of dating? Couldn’t that be a nice change, and revealing in refreshing ways? I think I could be more real and true to myself given the time to formulate what I want to say and the safety of the page to say it.(And wouldn’t this make …
My sister pointed out that timing can mean the difference between success or failure. If you want to buy a house, but you can’t afford it, then even if you find a great house in a great neighborhood at an objectively good price, it’s not good for you. It will be a headache and a strain and you will risk …
Something I’m thinking about: we can have a meaningful impact on other people’s children, just by being healthy, safe adults who take an interest in them. That is significant — children thrive when adults provide love, safety, consistency, positive role modeling, and positive regard. To me this is mothering before becoming a mother, to be this motherly force on the …
If you had to choose a spice to represent you, what would you choose? I’m going with cinnamon – warm and comforting and a little spicy. Yes, this is reference to an item I came across regarding a new collaborative cookbook which features a dish or spice in the opening spread to represent each author, in lieu of printing …
