It comes so much easier for me to be hopeful on other people’s behalf than for myself. When I’m feeling the pain, I can’t see my way out of the pain. But when I look at other people in their situations, it is easy for me to believe that it is easy for Hashem to help them. So maybe I’ll …
A line from a poem in The Mother in Our Lives stayed with me: “Let my heart be my womb.” –from “A Childless Woman’s Song of Transcendence” by Bayla Berger
For a homework assignment in my therapeutic writing training, I had to summarize a study supporting the use of expressive writing for a specific issue. Since I am interested in how to use journaling to deal with burnout in shidduchim, I used an article on workplace burnout as a starting point. The writing protocol in the study required participants to …
A reader sent me a question about reaching a milestone (in this case, turning 26 and getting kicked off her parents’ health insurance) and feeling saddened about having to figure out what to do next without a husband to do it with. Practicalities aside, these moments are hard because they highlight the contrast between where you thought you would …
Last week I had to make a difficult phone call for work to tell someone they could not participate in a program they wanted to join. I scripted out my spiel sentence by sentence, and it helped tremendously. I was able to sound clear and confident without being apologetic or defensive. One of my friends does this before every difficult …
For the past few weeks, Mishpacha Magazine has been publishing a lot of content about shidduchim, problems in the system, possible solutions, letters in response, etc…and I haven’t written about it here. The truth is that I am tired of digesting this type of content and figuring out, then articulating, my thoughts. I’m tired of being everyone’s problem. I’m …
Please respond to my text or email. Often I am just asking a yes or no question. It’s okay if you can’t help me, I know you are not a magician, but it feels a lot worse when you just ignore me. You can set up an automatic response system if you know you can’t get back to everyone so …
I once heard from Rabbi Moshe Weinberger that every tzara is harder at night – “al mishkavi baleilos” (from Shir Hashirim). I experience this so much. I find that some nights are beyond painful and I feel completely despairing. It’s physical, blinding pain. The morning usually does bring at least a glimmer of new hope. And I can continue for …
Late last night, I had a faintly familiar craving. I headed downstairs through the quiet house to the den on the first floor. I sat on the couch and read picture books out loud to an empty room. Then I went back upstairs and went to sleep.
The mythic successful older single works full time (preferably with children, in a job she can do part-time one day iy”H very soon to work around her future children’s carpools), but manages to be super-involved in community projects. She gives rides for bikur cholim and does kiruv on the weekends. She puts away 90% of her salary since she is …
