Luggage Carousel

Here’s another dating metaphor that’s been helping me recently. This is something that comes up a lot for people who have been dating for a few years or longer — the phenomenon 😉 of hearing only repeat suggestions for a while. It can get to a point where you really believe there is no one else out there. I know …

Land Ho

So recently I did this thing where I sent my updated resume to everyone and the mailman. The story is that I was reading some old blog posts on Sunday and I read the one on hishtadlus and was inspired to do some. So I did and it was really kind of fun. I reconnected with a lot of people …

Mindful Dating: Post-Date Self-Care Plan

A great strategy for mindful dating is to develop a self-care plan to implement after every date (not just the first but I’m inserting this mini-post here). To be most effective, this should be planned and ready to go in advance of the date so you have something cozy and supportive to look forward to no matter what happens. I …

Your Brain On Expectation Vs. Reality

Continuing on with my notes from Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. This concept is so interesting and provides a whole new way of mentally working with expectations, struggle, and patience:   Your brain has a system for monitoring the ratio of effort to success you’re experiencing as you work towards a goal. It then compares this ratio with what …

Siphoning off Stress

I’m finishing up a book called Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. (Because I feel somewhat responsible for the books I mention here, I can tell you that some parts of this one are really helpful, informative and scientific, and others are oddly political and ideological so I skipped those). The book discusses how to deal with chronic stress that …

Dating Coaches

A reader pointed out to me that I often suggest getting a dating coach or mentor to talk to before and during a dating relationship but I haven’t provided much information about how to find one. I’ve been fortunate to have a lot of support with dating in recent years but I know it can be hard to find someone …

Mindful Dating: The First Date

Hey, all, let’s continue talking about dating through the lens of mindfulness. Last time we looked at pre-first date anxiety and ways to help yourself through that. Now let’s look at the first date itself.   First dates are really nerve-wracking. Second and third dates etc, also. But first dates are uniquely nerve-wracking because there’s that Big Reveal.   The …

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