This morning I went grocery shopping. The spy-girl energy was undeniable as I walked into the store hours before I’m usually up, in a mask and gloves, scoping out the territory. The store wasn’t empty (eeps) but what struck me was the silence. We all just wanted to get through our lists and skedaddle. And we were all afraid to open our (masked) mouths for fear of spreading germs. And the seriousness of the situation hung in the air like a fog over everything.
This Pesach is going to be the most…democratic Yom Tov in living memory. We are all spending it at home, not going on chol hamoed trips, not hosting, not shopping, no hair or shaitel appointments. Greater people than I have made these observations and pointed out what we can learn from them.
I asked a friend for her perspective on all this and she responded, “I think what it’s going to mean for us is that we have to make it our own. So many more people are going to have to really feel the seder, the galus, the geulah and get themselves more into it. Because there are fewer people around. But even with a few people, it can be so rich. Everyone is going to have to own it more.” Isn’t that a beautiful take on the situation?
But as we sit at home alone, we can also remember (to quote Rabbi Yechiel Spero) that we’re not alone alone. We’re alone together. We can even coordinate with our families or friends so that we feel a sense of togetherness over YT. Some ideas: making up to learn the same lessons of the same sefer at each meal, sharing the same recipes, opening the windows to sing with neighbors, doing some kind of virtual or simultaneous chol hamoed activity. Please post suggestions!
I listened to a webinar with trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk and he stressed the importance of maintaining connection with other people — doing things in synchrony, hearing their voices and seeing their faces. He also emphasized the importance of reclaiming a sense of time. You can do this by tuning into your body and practicing mindfulness, just noticing how moment by moment, things change. Another great idea is to keep a journal of this experience; if you haven’t started one yet, it’s not too late! You can just write bullet points of each day if you don’t feel like writing much (but having a record is going to be priceless). And it’s also important to use those stress hormones for some type of activity, like cooking, moving, making things, so you don’t develop a feeling of immobility.
Wishing you a beautiful Shabbos Hagadol! Let’s do this!
