Last July, a friend and I were texting about shidduchim and manifesting and such. I wrote to her that I really needed a break from shidduchim. I really needed to get off the amusement park ride, away from the highs and crashes, the stresses and pressures, the doubts and decisions. I wrote that it would come as such a relief to know I never had to think about shidduchim again.
I can see in my texts that I was exhausted and burnt out. I needed a healing break so badly. It was enlightening for me to read this conversation now, because since then I have had a very long break from shidduchim. A bit intentionally and mostly not. I had forgotten about what I wrote those months ago, but reading this conversation over, it was evident that a break is what I needed and what I got.
This chapter was so necessary, like a long, deep sleep. In a way I feel like I’ve been put under a spell like Sleeping Beauty and everything is lying in wait, and then suddenly the spell will be broken and everything will wake up all at once. I’ve been reflecting on the similarities between my long break and a long sleep — just look at this list of what happens when we sleep: The brain stores new information and gets rid of toxic waste. Neurons communicate and reorganize. The body repairs cells and restores energy. Sleep strengthens brain function and emotional regulation.
This all feels passive in a good way. As if I’m supposed to wait and receive. And find ways to heal even more deeply, even more wholly. And keep leaning into the Sleeping Beauty of it.
