This summer I turned thirty, and this summer I also moved back to my parents’ house. Wham-bam.
Near the end of our lease, I made the decision not to sign it again. It was time for a change. I learned a tremendous amount, grew so much, and cannot recommend moving out of your parent’s house highly enough. However, that particular setup no longer worked for me (older house with issues, working from home around roommates was challenging). I decided to look for my own apartment. Couldn’t find anything affordable that also met my quality of life standards…so back to my parents’ I went.
One of my friends suggested that maybe this is the ultimate meshaneh makom — moving back, but different. Maybe — that would be wonderful.
I definitely went through a period of grieving. One night shortly after I moved back home, I went for a walk up and down the aisles of the grocery store and it was just different. I felt like a stranger, no longer shopping for my own home but watching other people do it.
I feel a pang writing this now. I gained so much from living in my apartment and I wish it had been a bridge to a home of my own, but that was not meant to be.
As a tribute to my two years in my apartment, I present the list of things I learned (and yes, some are super obvious but I had to learn them!):
- with Google, anything is possible
- how to clean a stove, a sink, and countertops
- which cleaning products to use for different surfaces (Murphy’s Oil for wood floors, Mr. Clean for linoleum/tile, Fantastik for kitchen and bathroom surfaces, disinfectant wipes for handles, Brillo pads for stovetop, Goo Gone for gunked-up windows)
- how to clean an air conditioner filter
- how to do laundry so that it smells amazing (Tide with Downy, fresh linen Bounce sheets in the dryer)
- how to check quinoa, barley, and mushrooms (I use the Star-K website for instructions)
- how to bake chicken
- how to make cholent
- how to make chicken soup
- how often kitchen sponges need to be replaced (about every 2 weeks)
- how long foods last in the fridge (note: marinara sauce goes bad way earlier than it should; raw chicken needs to be baked or frozen within a day or two)
- you can freeze shredded cheese
- that I know how to pitch in, see what needs to be done, and take responsibility
- that I can take care of myself
- that I’m not afraid to try new things
- that I am less high-maintenance than I thought, I can work harder and do with less
- the difference between light-filtering and blackout blinds (the former are a lot cheaper)
- that you need to actually buy an outdoor trash can, it does not grow out of the sidewalk
- every apartment has an electrical map and it is important to have it on hand so you don’t overwhelm a line and blow the fuse
- the dryer vent needs to be cleaned out by a lint guy every year
- it might be worth switching out the showerhead the landlord provided for a better one
- the defrost and cook settings on the microwave are not interchangeable
- always get fees in writing when you hire handypeople
- get the garbage and recycling pickup schedule for your street
- clean the wall near your kitchen trash can
- from time to time, clean your trash cans
- Trader Joe’s sells produce in good-sized packages
- So Delicious pareve ice cream is the best dessert (salted caramel cluster or snickerdoodle flavors)
- I can spend Shabbos alone and love it
- how to use a lighter (fear of fire, etc)
- easiest and most reliably crowd-pleasing hostess gift is a tray of nutty chews from the store
And now…here I am. I once read about liminal space – that space between the place you were and the place you are going. That’s where the interesting stuff happens so, bring it on, New Year!
