My neighbors made a little bonfire for their kids (technically on the 32nd day of the Omer as it was about 6 pm) and I joined with a bunch of neighbors roasting marshmallows around the fire. Later I read this article with my Partner in Torah about the significance of Lag B’Omer and bonfires. It’s a beautiful article and I got a lot out of reading it tonight.
One of my most inspiring memories from seminary is going to Meron on Lag B’Omer. Yes, it was crazy busy and as we tragically now know, quite unsafe, but the davening itself inside the tziyon was very special. My seminary teacher explained the legacy of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai as giving us the depth of Torah, the appreciation for a life immersed in Torah, the fire of Torah. I am disconnected from this feeling and it hurts. A fire needs oxygen and I don’t know where to get it. I have seforim in my room that I bought to learn and didn’t, or started and stopped. I like to think of myself as a deeply spiritual, connected person, but the depth is not there right now. I am sharing this just to get it off my chest, honestly. What better night than Lag B’Omer to go there?
I tell myself that when I have children, I’ll be able to revive the fire to share the fire. I want to believe this is true. I also don’t want to wait until I have children. But a piece is missing and I don’t know what.
I am wondering if anyone out there can relate and if anyone has thoughts to share.
And I wish you a fiery Lag B’Omer in the best way.
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