I just read a beautiful quote from Rabbi Dr. Lord Jonathan Sacks z”l:
“Nature is not the final word, for nature itself was created by a being who stands outside it and who, by making us in His image, gave us the power to stand outside it.”
This is so beautiful and in line with the lessons of Chanukah.
I have found that some people seem very invested in the narrative of the shidduch crisis. They will strongly push back against any suggestion that we who are struggling in shidduchim (singles and families) should focus on our emunah rather than on worrying about how everything will work out. They are determined to prove to us that the numbers are there. They don’t want anyone to forget that X number of women have no chance blah blah blah. They have the data. They did the math.
And I wonder where this zeal comes from. I’m sure some of it is well-intentioned, but good intentions are not good enough if the actions taken are hurtful and offensive.
I think that sadly some men would prefer to live in a world where women believe they are dispensable commodities. (I’ve only ever seen the age gap theory promoted by men. Just saying). And honestly, the overt objectification of women in these discussions is really disturbing. So I think that’s one piece.
I also think that in a large part, the commitment to this narrative comes from a desire people have for a simplistic understanding of life. Because it’s easier to rely on data, whether valid or not, than to let go and believe. It’s easier to decide you know why things happen than to accept that everything is truly a great mystery. Which brings me back to Rabbi Sacks’s quote. Because we need to remember we exist outside of nature, outside of graphs and charts and projections. And I don’t understand how that works but the good thing is I don’t have to. Because it’s not my problem.
Hashem makes the rules and Hashem breaks the rules. Nature is not the final word.
Have a beautiful rest of the week!
