This week my roommate helped me prepare for a job interview. We discussed what I would say when the interviewer would inevitably ask why I left Career #1. I hemmed and hawed, not sure how my answers sounded, when my roommate said, “You could just tell them you didn’t like it so you switched to something you enjoy.”
This made me pause.
“Really? Is that a legitimate reason to leave a career?” We both laughed. It did sound funny when I said it out loud but a part of me was holding onto the belief that since I’d once made a big decision, I should have been able to stick it out, and leaving was a kind of failure on my part.
She was like, “Yeah, I mean — people are allowed to have preferences.”
So simple. So true. So hard for me to internalize.
Honestly, I can’t hear that message enough. Am I the only one who subconsciously attaches moral value to certain neutral life choices (like elevating some jobs or lifestyle preferences above others)? Believing that liking or wanting certain things makes you a better person? Feeling shame when I don’t meet those internal standards?
It’s an old struggle, fed by old voices. Voices that say things like, “Why can’t you make this work? You should want this. You should appreciate this.”
Last night I finally made a vision board of my future relationship from a stash of old magazines I was holding onto for this purpose. It was so much fun! I cut out pictures and words that spoke to me and arranged them on a large background. I love how the finished product captures feelings of optimism and confidence in my future.
Throughout the process, maybe 20 minutes or so of flipping and clipping, several times I thought, “Here is the kind of image that looks like it belongs on a vision board…but not mine!” Some things resonated and others just didn’t. Maybe life can be like that a lot, too, if we believe in our right to our own preferences. “This is the kind of choice many people might make…but not me!”
If anyone wants to make their own vision board, my approach is really simple: Find a quiet place. Take a stack of magazines and circulars, flip through the pages, clip images that appeal to you, and arrange them on a large piece of paper. Glue them in place. You can write a response to your vision board or title it if you want (I didn’t). You can also includes words or sentences in the arrangement. The one real rule is to clip what you are drawn to for any reason — even if it seems random or unrelated — and not to think throughout the process. What you will have at the end is a visual representation of your subconscious — or some of it — and maybe some information about your personal preferences.
Enjoy!
