Here’s another dating metaphor that’s been helping me recently. This is something that comes up a lot for people who have been dating for a few years or longer — the phenomenon 😉 of hearing only repeat suggestions for a while. It can get to a point where you really believe there is no one else out there. I know that when I hear the words “Have you ever heard of…?” a part of me cringes because yes, yes I’m sure I’ve heard of him, and we are not married because either I am not interested in him or he is not interested in me, and can we not go over this again? I have had a really hard time after meeting a new shadchan when every single follow-up suggestion is a repeat idea. It can even feel scary, like have we maxed out the system? Is there just…no one?
And then something happens that reminds me there’s someone. A new name materializes at a shidduch meeting or from a friend or shadchan… And it’s enough to reassure me that yes, there is another someone. And he’s not the last. My someone is out there and he will find me.
It’s like waiting at the luggage carousel for your bag. You might have a couple of false starts when you see one come out and it looks like yours so you make a move towards it but wait, where’s my green ribbon? So that bag comes around again a few times and you start to doubt yourself a bit after the third or fourth time, like maybe my green ribbon fell off and I need to look a little closer because this is my bag after all? And everyone around you is recognizing their bags and walking away and you’re left with a few people looking at each other and at the bags going around the carousel, and you’re all wondering, where is mine? And then after an uncomfortably long while, some more luggage comes down the chute. It might not be yours but it’s somebody’s, and you feel relieved to know that your bag is there somewhere in the system — you just might have to wait and watch some other bags that kind of look like yours go around and around before yours gets to you.
I hope this metaphor is helpful!
Waiting for Purim inspiration 🙂
Same! Jk. I had intended to write something for a couple days and it is going up asap!
Also you posted a while back about focused dating centers, which are actually a real thing now in some places due to corona! Pretty cool how you predicted the future.
YASSS