They Make It Look So Easy

This week I went to a wedding for the first time in months and months. The chosson was my cousin who used to come to us for Shabbos meals almost every week when he was in beis medrash, and we were very close. This was one of those couples that were both marrying their first — both just back from E”Y, her seminary friend was his neighbor, you know how it goes…and I just kept thinking one thing all night.

 

They make it look so easy.

 

They make it look so easy to fit with someone. They make it look so easy to be blissfully happy. They make it look so easy to walk down the aisle and get married. Why is it so not easy for me?

 

Why not? I don’t know. I just don’t know. Isn’t it amazing how our lives are all so different?

 

I really turned this over in my head for awhile. Just this notion that it could really be that easy. That easy to put on a poofy flouncy white dress and be a kallah. That easy to sit at your badeken and have this guy walk up to you and put a veil over your face. A guy you like. A guy you’re excited to marry. That easy.

 

Mind-blowing. Unrelatable. Right now, for me, like from another universe.

 

Except one thing. It’s hard to believe but it’s true, that this is easy for Hashem, to do this for me like He did it for my cousin and his kallah. It’s just as easy for Hashem to make me fit with someone, just as easy for Hashem to make me blissfully happy, just as easy for Him to send me down the aisle to get married. Just as easy. It just hasn’t happened. It’s hard for me to be experiencing this. But that doesn’t mean it’s hard for Hashem to make it happen.

 

What if the entire difference between my cousin’s kallah and me is timing? That for some reason in the story of the universe her soul had to be united with its other half one day in November 2020 and mine did not? What if that’s the whole difference and it’s nothing I did or didn’t do or should do or must do or might do or…?

 

Really knowing and absorbing that would make this experience a lot…easier.

 

I’ll end off by sharing the bracha the chosson gave me:

“You should marry the right one b’karov, with a lot of clarity. It should go smoothly without any stress, and without any compromises. He should be exactly what you want.”

 

You can have all of that and more, and for Hashem, it would be easy.