Yearly Direction

I learned the concept of the yearly direction from Rabbi Aryeh Nivin in his Elul course. Since the course is Rabbi Nivin’s curriculum, I’ll just give the general idea without the whole process. (I heard something similar from a friend taking a Dina Friedman course, but I won’t go through her process either in this post, I’ll just write the general idea with my own additions).

 

When you review your year and your struggles and accomplishments, what can you identify as the one or two areas to work on that would give you the biggest bang for your buck? It can be in any sphere of your life: emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, social, family, work, financial…Instead of getting overwhelmed by where you want to be and all the things you want to improve upon, focus on one or two areas and make that your year’s direction. Then break down the overall goal into something specific, measurable, and doable.

 

For example, my yearly direction is to get more sleep. If I got more sleep, that would improve my davening, my overall organization and time management and level of calm and centeredness, my relationships, mood, outlook, etc. My measurable goal is to be in bed by 11:30 each night. I know it should be 10:30 if I really want to get a good night’s sleep, but for now I’m making it later, which is doable.

 

I learned in a social work class today that, regarding self-care, the stronger the why, the easier the how. I love, love, love that line. The stronger the why, the easier the how. When you choose your yearly direction, make a big long list of why. Why is this important and why do you want it. Then the how will become easier, because you’ll be so clear on why this is a priority above other obligations pulling at you and you’ll be able to say, I want this.

 

Rabbi Nivin says that Elul should be energizing! It’s an exciting time filled with possibility. Hashem wants to help us improve our lives, become closer to who we are meant to be, to grow and develop parts of ourselves. We get so much siyata d’Shmaya this time of year. Anything we struggle with, that we think will never be behind us, that is part of our very identity — we can work on. We don’t have to get discouraged. It’s okay to try and fail and try and fail again. The point is that we should engage with the struggle, that even if we can’t make big changes we can make small changes or even just long to make changes — that’s also Elul work.

 

I once heard in the name of Rav Dessler that the broken sounds of the shofar represent the breaking of old patterns. It doesn’t have to be this way. It’s a new year. New means new. Hashem can send you the right help to get you out of your struggles, whatever they are. But take a step forward to help yourself, at the same time. Don’t be intimidated by how many things you wish you could change, or by the thought of facing Rosh Hashanah a year from now without impressive results to show for yourself. That’s not for now. Now is the time to be here, choosing one or two things, and moving forward.

 

Wishing you all a kesiva v’chasima tova from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for coming, for commenting and emailing and sharing. May your tefillos be answered quickly l’tova! I hope you all have a beautiful, happy Yom Tov.