What Works For You (Might Not Work For Me)

Hi, all. The following is a conversation that never took place (but probably should have, and still might). I suspect this will resonate with you. “Mrs. Cohen” is a composite figure and the social worker is yours truly. Enjoy.

 

Hi, Mrs. Cohen, do you have a few minutes to talk? I’m calling with a suggestion for you.

 

Oh! Very interesting. I’m all ears.

 

Mrs. Cohen, what do you do for a living?

 

I’m a shadchan.

 

Aha. And have you ever considered becoming a physical therapist?

 

A physical therapist?

 

Yes. As you may know, I’m a social worker and I have a great passion for helping people self-actualize. I’ve been thinking about you and what might be right for you and I think you would make a great physical therapist. I want to really encourage you to take a serious look at this career path and get those applications filled out ASAP.

 

But I don’t want to be a physical therapist. I like being a shadchan.

 

And how are you so sure you won’t like being a physical therapist? Have you ever given it a serious try? It’s a very good choice for you. I’m telling you this because you’re not getting any younger and I don’t want you to miss any opportunities you still have to make this decision.

 

I’m really sure I don’t want this. I can help people best as a shadchan. That’s where I belong. 

 

(Laughter) Wow, I hear that you’re very attached to a specific occupation. You don’t think you can help people as a physical therapist? Let me tell you, there is such a need for frum female physical therapists (say that five times fast). You could make such a positive difference in women’s lives — you could specialize and in a few years you would have your own practice, make your own hours and charge a nice hourly rate. This is really sounding perfect. I’m excited already! 

 

I hear that it sounds exciting to you, and I guess in theory it’s a nice idea, but it has no appeal to me at all. There are so many other people who want to do this with their lives, let them be happy and successful doing it. I’m not that person. Besides, it’s expensive and difficult to go back to school and that’s not an option for me right now. Either way, I don’t need to be giving you excuses!

 

(Sigh) I hear that you’re not willing to be flexible on this issue right now, but I want you to know I think you’re making a mistake. Would I push you to do something if I didn’t have your best interests in mind? Other people just like you have dealt with the same challenges and made it work. I would like you to consult with someone wiser before taking this upon your own shoulders. You know, sometimes you think you understand what Hashem wants you to do in life but you can never really trust yourself, my friend. What if Hashem wants you to really stretch yourself? You don’t want to shortchange yourself in life, do you?

 

Share this with someone you love who has been “Mrs. Cohened.” V’hameivin yavin.