Over the past six or seven years, as my family grew up, Purim in my house changed. It became quieter, more orderly and peaceful. There’s no preschool megillah of Esky Cook illustrations strung across the dining room doorway, no smiling Queen Esther and scowling Haman gazing at the proceedings. (Apparently this really dates us.) There are no cap-guns and pop-snappers and cans of silly string going off on the front walkway. We don’t have to navigate crowded one-way streets to bring shalach manos to our morahs and teachers anymore. But to tell you the truth, I don’t mind it at all. Purim for grown-ups feels just right. My sisters and I take turns delivering shalach manos at our own pace, we have time for tefillah and catching up with friends, and in general the day just feels a lot longer and more relaxed than it ever has.
Do you prepare your own shalach manos? Last week, I wrote up a list of people to give to. My go-to shalach manos has been doughnuts and coffee (a box of mini Francoz doughnuts and a J&J iced cappuccino) for the past ten years, and it works.
It struck me last year how nice it was to be able to sit with friends for a while, just talking and enjoying the Yom Tov atmosphere, instead of having to hurry back to the car so we could move on to the next friend.
I think it was my fourth grade morah who first taught me “Kol ha’poshet yad, nosnim lo,” just as we give to whoever asks for tzedakah on Purim, Hashem gives to whoever asks for yeshuos on Purim. I have to say, it’s gotten easier to find time to daven throughout the day! In seminary, my eim bayit arranged a van for anyone who wanted to go to the Kosel on Purim night to say the whole Sefer Tehillim. It was surreal. Since then, I’ve tried to complete the entire Sefer Tehillim between megillah readings on Purim, and if I can’t do that, I try to finish by shekiyah on Purim day.
Is Purim different than it used to be with a house full of children? It sure is. But I enjoy savoring the gift of Purim as it is now.
(Credit for that adorable and very grown-up challah goes to Joy of Kosher.)
Have a meaningful, happy Purim!
